Dear me…

Dear me…

Dear me…

Tay, I hope you’re feeling better now. Remember how bad you use to feel? Not a guilty kind of bad. Just bad. Sad. Off? I know on the outside you looked fine, but on the inside you were black. I know you use to worry if people would start to notice, but sometimes you wonder why nobody noticed at all. I know you use to feel so sick, that anxious pit in your stomach became so consistent.

It’s important for me to remind you to always appreciate the ones who were there, and never turned back. You hurt some people, you disappointed people, you upset people, you lied. You weren’t well, that’s no excuse, but at least it’s an explanation.

Remember how badly you treated yourself? You didn’t know your purpose, or if you even had one. Self criticism – I remember you thinking It seemed almost normal at the time. Stop doing that Tay.

Looking back, I know it’s just because you were scared. Worried. Paranoid. Sometimes I don’t remember what you were scared of, but I know it frightened you so much you didn’t know what was going on half the time. I saw how you lost control of your own life. If things never changed, how would life be now?

You finally saw the light. I’m so proud of you for crawling out from underneath it. Everyday is a new day. You’re going to cry, you’re going to be mad, you’re going to have days where you want to shut yourself off from the world. But that’s ok. Dust the dirt from your shoulders and move on. Let your past go, focus on now. Be happy.

You’re loving, and kind, and you seem to put others before yourself.

Just look at how far you’ve come, and how far you will go. Look at yourself, all you can do is grow.

Love, me

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